. : the s t o r y that spells my l i f e : .

Sunday, June 26, 2005

moved .
i've moved
thankyou fer visiting my blog fer the past year
time ta move out and start a new one
check it outtt
keep tagging

takecare

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 12:00 AM

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

s i n g l e h o o d .
itsbeenaweeksinceihavebeensingle
lifefarkingsuckspleaase
yesyeshiknowitisnouseright
iamstillgettingusedtasinglehoodhere
reallyitdoesnotfeelthesame
andoyouknowwhat
ihavebeensickmorethanaweekago
andistillam
thesorethroatisyucks
blamemyselfferit
nowaternorestnomedicine
crappplarhs
iguessitistrue
physicalemotionaleverything
icantfangxia
ihatetasaythis
butthoughtsstillkeeprunningin
andicantseemtastopthem
iknowitisnottherightthing
butyesistilldomissher
ithinkiwontbebloggingferquitesometime
ineedabreakhereandthere
getonwithlifeandall
iwouldbequittingmyjothisweekaswell
enoughofworkandall
timetastartgettingreadyferschool
prollytakeupdrivinglessons
andquietdown
ineedthat
soasfernow
pleasetakecare
muchlove
seeyaallaround

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 1:05 AM

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

.
you're the only one
i'd be with til the end
when i come undone
you bring me back again
back under the stars
back into your arms

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 10:23 PM

Sunday, June 05, 2005

take me .
okayijustwatchedwaterboys
wenttownearlieron
gotahaircut
yesitisshortshortshort
whothehellcares
andnostopsayingilooklikeabung
causesorryiamnotplease
andiboughtsomethingtodayaswell
twodaysoff
andtwodaysshopping
ohwellsthatslife
supposedtaplaypool
butdidntintheend
justslackedthewholeday
itriedsomethingnew
wasitsupposedtabenice
ididntthinkthatitwasgreat
whydoeseveryonelikeit
whatcrappp
mythorathurtslar
sickferthewholeweek
andcounting
coolehhh
wellanyhows
timetabathenow
weatherissohothothot
workagaintomorrow
whatthehellplease
iwannaquitlarr
butineedmoney
toyangziji
andtosatyawayfrom
beingalone
rahhhhhh

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 10:58 PM

.
itshardtapredictwhattomorrowsbringtodayyoumightbethehappiestperson
tomorrowyoumightjustbethemostupsetonetodayyoumighthaveeverythingyou
alwayswantedinyerhandsbuttomorrowyoumightjustlooseallofittodayyou
canbeanobodybuttomorrowyoumightbeasomebodylikefriendstodayandenemies
tomorrowtheremightjustbesomeonetheretatellyounottodothisandthatbut
predictionsmaynotalwaysberightwhoknowseverythingmusthavehadsreason
ferhappeningreasonsofwhatmaybeplacedrightinfrontofusturningbackis
impossiblelookingforwardmayjustbetherightthingyoumayneverknowwhat
tomorrowswouldbelikeunlessyoulivethroughitawayoflifepeoplesayitlife
isunfairlifeplaystricksonyoubutisntittruetasaythsatthelifeisyoursand
youchoosehowyouliveitnotanyoneelsebutyerselfwhetheryoupullthrough
todayisuptoyoudreamswisheshopesfantasiesvanishedandididnotdosomething
reallystupidthistimemaybeididbutminoritistoomeandprollynottheonlything
tadoontotryanewthingandifuguredouttheonlywaytomoveonstartsfromyou

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 2:05 AM

emptiness s p e a k s .
whenyouleftilostapartofeitssohardtobelieve
thelifestorykeepsreplayingitself
iamtiredofthewholething
todaytodaytoday
thestartofthedaysuckedbigtime
okayitwasmetoblame
theywerenotinthewrongplease
istartedthewholecrapout
prollyhttasrevengeferme
ohwellsatleasttheotherpartwentokay
istayedoutthewholeday
wenttomanyplaces
boughtstuffsaswell
theonlywaytaputthingsaway
istashopshopshop
gotanewperfume
andnewpairofjeans
shallshopmore
wasatmyschoolarea
foundplaceswecouldhangoutat
coolcoolcool
therearemanythingstadonearcampus
somanythingstado
weareintothefirstweekofjune
amonththatihavealwayswaitedfor
schoolwillstartsoon
finally
ineedthat

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 1:20 AM

Friday, June 03, 2005

.
sohereistheotherpartistillamindazeiamtryingherereallyiamoveralljust
leaveitthiswayitisnottheblameorthecauseofeverythingifitdoesntworkout
thenwhyjustforceititwillnotgoanywhereiheardthisfromafriendwhenyouare
withtherightsomeoneyouwillfeelitwakingupeachmorningknowingthatsomeone
elseisthinkingofyouthatverymomentandgoingtabedeachdayknowingthatthe
verysamepersonistherebyyoursidethatswhenyouknowthatyouarereallyinlove
andthechoicewasrightwellisupposeitissomehowtrueihaftaagreewithitbut
onethingisforsurethewordforeverdoesntmeanwhatitsupposedtocausenothing
isforevernothingcanbeforeversowhatifyerfamilyispartofyerlifeyoucant
havethemforeversamegoesfertheoneinyerlifeyoucantbewithherforalifetime
maybetillthedayyouendyerlifebutyoudidntbeginitwithhergetwhatimean
nothingisforeversowhydopeoplestillsayitsowhysuchawordidontknowmyminds
inawhirlicantstopthinkinggivemeabreakpleaseiknowitisoverbuticanthelpit
shekeepsappearinginmymindimsorryokayifanyonereallybotherstoreadthis
pleasestopstrainingtheeyestakepityonthemcauseiamgonnakeeptypingthis
waygiveupreadingcauseiwontchangethewayitistyped

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 11:47 PM

screwed up .
ohygoodness
mycomputerissolagplease
gottawaitagesferittaload
anyhowsthesonganjing
itotallylikethesongnow
themeaningtoitiguess
okaysoitisfinallyfriday
ithinkthisweekwassoscrewedup
noteverythingwentright
suretobesomethingwrongeachday
todaywasalsoanothermessedupone
iwokeupslightlylate
andreachedworkalillate
toaddonialmostlostmyhandphone
leftitonthebusandicouldntfindit
butithinkthatiwasdarnluckyplease
becauseigotitback
thankgodoriwouldjustdie
andferthatistartedworkevenlater
wastotallymesseduplar
ididntknowwhatwasidoing
crapplease
sighhhh
hopeferabettertomorrow
iansogonnatakeabreak
ineedit
iamstillsortasick
ohwells
continuetheotherpartlater

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 9:32 PM

Thursday, June 02, 2005

anjing .
zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
shui zhao de da ti qin
an jing de jiu jiu de
wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
wo dong wo ye zhi dao
ni mei you she bu de

ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi ceng jin
xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
wei shen me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo
wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
bu yong dan xin de tai duo
wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo

ni yi jing yuan yuan li kai
wo ye hui man man zou kai
wei shen me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni
wo zhen de mei you tian fen
an jing de mei zhe me kuai
wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
shi yin wei wo tai ai ni

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 11:12 PM

.
hasiteveroccuredtoyouwhymusttherebeabeginningwhenthereisanendtoeverything
whydopeoplefallinlovewhenthereareheartbreakswhycantthingsjustgorightonceand
forallratherthanhavingtosufferbeforegettingtowhereyoureallywanttobe
onerelationshipendedalmostsilentlywithusstillbeingfriendsofadifferentkindikow
thingswerentwhatwethoughtitshouldhavebeenbutmaybeitwasnttherightpaththen
onerelationshipendedwithherjustleavingmylifewithyoucansaynoreturnatalliwasleft
thereonmyownjustsuddenlyhavingtorealiseitwasalloverandthatpersonwasnevergoing
toreturnbacksosoonfriendshipbetweenusseemedkindofimpossiblebecauseitwasawkward
thisrelationshipjustendedlmostabruptlyaandeverythingwasjustoverandgonethereisonly
thememoriesleftbetweenusitwasjustoverlikethateverythingjustbecameahistory
alltherelationshipshadadifferentstartandendtoititallfeltdifferentbutonethingisforsure
ineverlovedsomeonethiswaybeforeiknowreminiscingthepastwonthelpbutitistoomuch
toletgooffjustlikethisicantbringmyselftothetruththatturningbackisimpossible

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 2:01 AM

darnit .
todayworkwasatotalpissoff
somuchhappened
igotintoalotoftrouble
damnthepeople
iwassofarkedup
whyeverythingnow
thingsgotbetterafterwork
metmardiferachat
andyvonneferdinner
hungaroundtilltenplusorso

slacker,thanks

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 1:12 AM

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

-
ihavebeenthinkingabouteverythingthewholenighteverythingseemedsomewhatlike
adreamwhenyouwakeupitisalloverwhatthehellislovewhyhasitgottabethiswayijust
gotpulledbackfromitagainineverwannabeinthereithurtstoomuchmemoriesarejust
thereitisdifferentfromtherealthingreminiscingwhatwehadisjustantherthingiwanna
findmyselfbackifanyonesbotheredtofigureoutwhatsinherethenthankyouferbothering
youdonthavetoobviouslyiamjustbloggingfornothingijustwanttothinkofwhatamigoing
todonowineedtimelotsofitcauseifeelsomessedupiwannagetoutofthereihatefallinginto
depressionyouwilljustgocrazyidontwantthattohappenagainiamsoscaredifeelstupid

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 9:19 AM

lost .
probablyitallmarkstheendandanewbeginning.yesitstartedfromme.sowitheverything
wehadlifewasabitch.itisbetterwithoutme.idontknowwhatsleftinmylifeanymore.
soputitthisway.iamnotastrongperson.justwatchmefall.causeicantpickupthe
brokenpieces.guessitdoesntmeanmuchanymore.thememoriesstaystrong.itistoo
muchtogiveupon.guessifitworksout.thenitwould.idontknowwhereamiheading.
ifeelsoscrewed.iwannabealonerightnow.itisnotyerfault.

m e l i s s a || s i x t y f i v e 2:23 AM